Nothing felt remains unsaid

 During yet another session with my personal-therapist-cum-philosopher-cum-besty Paul H., he said “nothing is really unspoken in relationships” and so I promptly objected and said “what do you mean?! SO much is unspoken, that’s the problem!”

What he meant is that no emotion that comes up in us during a conversation and left unaddressed is ever truly conceiled. It may be unspoken but it’s rarely silent 🙊

When I ignore or hush feelings unconsciously or with the best of intentions (“Ugh, I don’t really want to do this but it’ll make my friend happy, so it’s fine I’ll just do it. Done.”) it hit me that the 70% of nonverbal communication is actually conveying my feelings in some shape or form. That form is likely distorted or incomplete and therefore it’s likely to confuse my interlocutor. Add a pinch of salt and salty attitude, and you’ve got a home-made grenade. In the words of Bruno: I guess I do catch grenades for ya ☄️

But sadly, I also apparently throw them by trying to accommodate others first and not fully integrating - or addressing - what’s brewing in my incessant internal reactor 🙇‍♀️

Integration comes with practice. Recognizing, allowing, and curiously investigating (yup, this is called RAIN, props to Tara Brach). The point isn’t to voice every single thing I feel or I’ll start sounding like the audio version of Twitter during an election cycle. But I conveniently have my internal dialog to practice with in this intimate conversation with Moi. And hopefully I’ll become more transparent and straightforward with all the Yous out there to whom I owe a thank you, for your patience and trust 🙏🏻✌🏼

Nothing felt remains unsaid so when life hands you hand grenades, make grenadine 🍉🍇🍓